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While I’m Waiting

07/19/2009

waiting

I don’t know if you’ve had a time in your life (if you haven’t, I can assure you that some time you will) when you had to wait on God for something.  Maybe it was a trial in your life, an illness, a death of someone close to you, or just a time of uncertainty.  Well I just recently went through one of the biggest (really I am still in it) of my life.

I have learned that in such situations a person has one of two options:

1. Turn to God and look for His hand working in the situation OR

2. Turn away from Him and give into our natural tendencies/emotions.

We can curl up in a ball and give up or we can claim God’s promises to us!  He is ALWAYS there-He never leaves us.  We can either claim that and look for the way He is working in our situation or be consumed with worry/guilt/sadness, etc.

James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

Many of you know that recently Boston, my 5 month old son, has been having what I call “tremors”.  They started about a month ago with just his head and more recently, his whole body has been involved.

I am so blessed to have a pediatrician for my boys that is quick to act.  She ordered an EEG right away as well as had me make an appointment with a pediatric neurologist.  She wanted to make sure that Boston did not have Infantile Spasms.  This is a devastating disorder that most often causes severe brain damage as the “episodes” happen at a crucial time in development.  I resisted researching this disorder for quite some time.  However, the night before the EEG I decided that I needed to be informed so I could share all pertinent information.  BIG MISTAKE!  The only time in my life that I had such a physical reaction (that sick feeling in my stomach 24 hours a day even if I wasn’t thinking about the issue) was when I lost my mom (and best friend) 10 years ago.  Immediately my mind started racing and I started wondering what the future held for Boston, for our family.  Would he ever be able to walk?  to talk?  to say “I love you”?  Would he go to school, have friends, play with his brothers?  I could handle ailments thrown at me…but my baby?????  (After the hardest wait of my life, we found out that Boston does not have infantile spasms…Praise God! and thank you all so much for your prayers!!!  We still do not know what is going on, but he is seeing the neurologist the week after next).

Let me just say that God loves every one of us!   He is faithful and made Himself known to me in a real and tangible way when I pursued Him in this situation with more desperation and passion than I have in a LONG time.  I would love to share my experience with you!

God showed Himself to me in 3 major ways during my time of waiting.

1.  He reminded me of His character.  He has proven Himself to be trustworthy time and again in my life.  He made me realize that I trust Him with EVERYTHING….with my life, my eternity, and that of my children!  He reminded me that even though I only see a tiny piece of the puzzle, He sees the whole puzzle and He has everything under control!

2.  He reminded me of scripture that I had stored in my heart.  He helped me call it to my mind so it would comfort me. (This is why it is SO VERY important to memorize scripture and stay in His Word…so you can recall it when you are sad, are tempted, or need reminding to praise Him).

The first one that He brought to my mind was Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I don’t know what the future holds for Boston, but God does!  Even if it is not the future I had played out in my mind, God has a plan and a purpose for EVERY ONE!  He doesn’t make mistakes.

He also called to memory Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Every time I would start to get overwhelmed with the uncertainty and worry, I would repeat this verse in my head.  I would stop what I was doing and pray.  Even though I still didn’t have any answers, He would give me peace.  That is because no matter where I am, He is God…He is the same, He never changes!

One last verse that I actually found another time in my life when I needed it was brought to the forefront of my mind.  It is Psalm 32:7 “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

This is a HUGE one for me!  My natural tendency when I am overwhelmed is to hide, curl up in a ball and sleep hoping that when I wake up it will all be over!  God gave me a concrete picture of this promise by showing me His love and comfort in the 3rd way:

3. He used someone else!  God uses others in our life to model His love and help us to grasp it in a real way.  God showed me something special that I clung to when I felt myself getting overwhelmed!

aaron holding Boston

I am so incredibly blessed to have such a loving earthly father for my boys!!  Ever since Boston was born, when he would cry, Aaron would hold Boston close to his heart and whisper in his ear, “Daddy’s got you, Daddy’s got you.”  When I would start to cry, I could close my eyes and feel God wrap His arms around me and whisper in my ear, “Daddy’s got you, Daddy’s got you.”  Of course I couldn’t audibly hear it, but I could hear it in my heart!

You never know if YOU could be the model God is using to show His love to someone who is going through a trial today.  Are you available and willing to be used???

image by: JasonRogersFooDogGiraff eBee


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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Theresa permalink
    07/19/2009 9:36 pm

    He used you in a very beautiful way! God Bless you for your post, and know there is sahm in Ks who will be praying for you and your family. I pray our Father continues to shower your family with blessings as only he can. Your blog touched me, at just the moment I needed to be reminded. Thank HIM and you!

    Praying for you and your little man,
    Theresa

  2. 07/20/2009 8:36 am

    Although I have told you before, I will tell you again how MIRACULOUSLY the Lord has used you in my life.

    When I cried out to him, desperately seeking His will for my life, I prayed ‘Lord show my where you want me.” The VERY next day, I got that card from you with the words “You are exactly where the Lord wants you to be.” That card stayed on my refrigerator for years as a reminder to me of God’s faithfulness. He hears us in our cries and He is there to comfort us through others.
    So, then 4 years later on one of the most difficult days of my life, I prayed that the Lord would surround me with His angels to protect me from the attack that I was under from the enemy. Minutes later, I looked up and there you stood.

    I do not believe in coincidence or chance. The Lord placed you in those places to remind me of His presence. Every time I start to wonder if He hears me during our own time of waiting, I picture your card and sweet face standing before me, and I am reminded that God is exactly who He says He is.

    Thank you for obeying and following your heart in encouraging me those times.

    I love you and am praying for you and your sweet family. I believe that God will carry you through this terrifying time and in the end, He will be glorified because of your faithfulness to Him!

  3. 07/20/2009 2:54 pm

    Jennifer,
    I admire you so much. The strength that God has given you is so evident. I wish I had your faith and strength in my day to day life, even in my little tiny problems. What an example you are. I am in such an awe of you and your strength. Wow. I know that God is proud of you and your trust in Him, even in this time.
    I know, and I know you know, that God does “have you” and has your struggles in His hands and he is taking care of everything. I LOVE your physical proof of that. So sweet.
    I look so forward to hearing from you that Boston will be just fine and I continue to have you guys in my prayers.

  4. 07/20/2009 3:51 pm

    great post Girl

    you are also my #3

  5. shelly permalink
    04/04/2010 6:31 pm

    your waiting on God has encourage me. That with every we are going through God has already work it out al we have to do is stand still and waait for the salvation of God. His answer to our paryers. GOD IS ABLE

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